Life has been happening

It has been a long long time since I last wrote something here and of course a lot has happened... "Life" has been happening :)

Today, I decided to take a moment and look back. Sometimes looking at how far I have come makes me feel great!

Since 2011, I've lost weight, gained confidence, ran in a marathon, started working, travelled, bought our first house, had a difficult pregnancy, given birth to my daughter, experienced parenthood, experienced relationship turmoil and separation, overcome workplace bullying and discrimination, reconciled with my husband, become an Australian citizen, and lost some of my health.

That is a lot to have done in 7 years! So many lessons, self discovery, success and failure, but no regrets (well, except maybe the health part sadly).  

The best part of life so far has been the people I have met and the friends who have made my life beautiful all along. I love people. I love to hear their stories - every person has so much to tell and I love listening to it all! It makes me live so many lifetimes in one life.

I feel somewhat like a grown up now but also still a child at heart. Some things still make me happy - sunshine, chocolate, dancing and laughing for no reason and playing with my 5 year old as if I am her age.

See? It did work. I am feeling great now :)

Just my opinion

I will say this in a very straight forward manner... I dont like Indian culture and social system in the form it is today. It is not only extremely unfair to women, but is binding and suffocating in general so much so that it holds the country back from growth and productivity.

No doubt there are some very deep and meaningful values that form the foundation of any society and I do respect those values. But the practical social norms by which people in India live are not just useless, they are harmful for social health of the country.

Personal space, individuality and independence are concepts that are totally alien to the Indian society - more so for women. Lack of individuality hampers creativity and individual ideas. It encourages thoughtless animal-like behaviour and most of all it makes social acceptance stronger than conscience and can make intelligent people behave in an inhuman manner. Well-educated professionals living in metros like Delhi set their daughter-in-laws on fire for the want of dowry.

These harmful social values are instilled in people since their birth and all through childhood. Values like never question your teachers or elders. Values like girls should be submissive and not loud. "Shame is a girl's ornament". This is bullshit. Wrong things become right just because "everyone does it" or "that is how it happens here in India".

Of course it is a democracy and every man and women is legally free to have opinions and beliefs. But the social cost of exercising this fundamental democratic right is very high, again, even more so for women.

India Vs Australia

My friend had a very interesting experience when she went to watch a one day cricket match between Australia and India at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground). She is Indian but a huge fan of Brett Lee, so she was supporting the Australian team. She went all prepared and was cheering her team very excitedly. It so happened that in a row in front of where she was sitting, were a couple of young Aussie kids. They were supporting the Indian team.

I found this quite interesting as she was narrating, but the part that had me rolling with laughter was that incidentally India won this particular match and the kids turned back and booed her !!!

First baby step

I feel like blogging today after many weeks.

After a very long and disturbing emptiness, I am finally starting with a small casual role in a jewellery company. I am nervous, yet hopeful. Maybe this is a first step towards building a career that I dreamt of. I am feeling very anxious.

In the last few months I have doubted myself many times and have quietly and desperately longed for nothing but a chance to prove myself. I have dreaded meeting people because I was scared of the question "what do you do?". I have been afraid of my personal life being adversely affected by my (un)employment status.

Today I am just looking back at the last 6 months and praying that this would be the beginning of better luck. Although I know my job is quite insignificant and so am I, but I am thankful for this opportunity because an odyssey starts with one step.

Now is when I most need the well wishes and blessings of friends and family.

Hard earned money

Stories from childhood are fun. I enjoy listening to them and they remind me of the stupid but innocent person that I used to be.

There is one that is a favourite of my Uncle K, who has been my father's business partner for as long as I have been alive. He told it to me 7 years ago when I earned the first stipend of my life. It is a funny one and reminds me how dumb I was. But it makes me smile because it's really cute. It just shows how much I valued hard-earned money since my childhood. The sarcasm in this sentence will become evident after I tell the story. Here goes:

I was 6 or 7 years old. We had our school fete coming up. It was mandatory for each student to purchase a booklet of 50 fete tickets from the school (paid for by parents' 'hard earned money' of course). It was then upto the kids to unleash the salesperson within and to go door to door to sell the tickets before the fete starts (and hence get the money back).

The enthusiastic and hard working kid that I was, did not waste a single day. I spent the whole afternoon in the scorching summer heat disturbing each and every resident of the locality to sell my tickets. I finished all the tickets by evening. I believe it would have been hard for people to say no to a small kid working so hard ;-p. Anyway so by evening I was loaded with cash and very proud of myself.

On my way back, I stopped at a toy vendor and spent the cash on toys and balloons and candy. I entered my home brimming with joy and pride but of course my father's reaction was not what I had expected. On being questioned, I simply explained that I had spent my own hard earned money. My father tried to explain that the hard-earned money was infact his since he bought me the ticket booklet. But my innocent little brain refused to understand how that could be. To me, it was very simple and clear: "Papa, you earned money, you spent it. I earned money, I spent it. It was my hard-earned money". The world was that simple for me and I did not understand why things should be any more complicated.

So at the age of 18, the day I earned my first stipend after slogging for a month, Uncle K asked me, "Do you now understand the meaning of your own hard-earned money?" and told me this funny incident.

Dream about cannibal boss

This one was years ago when I was working. Its not pleasant but was funny nonetheless, after I woke up. My boss's boss appeared in my dream and I will refer him as Mr. J. Just for the records, he is a very sweet old man and far from what I saw in the dream!!

 I go to work as usual but there is some kind of ceremony going on in the courtyard and its crowded with employees. As I go in I see that Mr. J is eating his employees one by one. There is some sort of a killer machine... a person goes in alive at one end and from the other end comes out a plate with Mr. J's meal. Everyone is being pushed into a line and no one wants to be in the front. I end up being in the front of the line and suddenly realise I am going to die... I dont want to die. I am so scared that...

I woke up with a start and was amused when I recalled the dream :-D

Dream about Tsunami

This one is months old but I remember because I shared with friends and they couldnt stop laughing.

I just finshed with my classes for the day and am coming out of my college with my classmate and dear friend Prasanna when I see a sky high wave of water coming!! I remember he had told me he doesnt know how to swim. So I assure him I will save him. I ask him to quickly take a deep breath and then hold on to the railing tightly. And then it comes... we are under water holding our breath. I somehow swim and bring him to the surface of water but by then water recedes and we find ourselves on a beach. Prasanna's wife has appeared too. I have this brilliant idea that we should rush to my house because it is on the ninth floor and we'd be safe should another wave come. His wife agrees but he has gone mad or something.... he starts acting like a victim of that deadly virus of the movie "The Happening" and is going into the water instead of going away. His wife is simply laughing at his behavior and is assuring me that he will be fine. I ask her to get him to place ASAP. But as I m running towards my home I find myself in a maze from which I cant find my out...

When I woke up, I tried to go back to sleep to try n figure out that maze, but no luck!!